What’s the secret to a long lasting marriage?
She said: Okay, I’ve been thinking about this and the first thing we both chose is the right person to marry. It’s been amazing, when things have seemed to go wrong for me, Bob would always have to go on a trip for his job, and by the time he came back, things were back to right! We respect each other, our ideas, our thoughts, our privacy, our needs for space, and we have always agreed on major things like politics, religion, travel and house plans. Anything we dissagree on we discuss and come to a resolution. But the most important thing, I think, is we can laugh with and at eachother and that makes life a lot of fun!
He said: My response to your request for how to make marriage work for 60 years. Non of my observations include love. Love got you into the arrangement, and is a very important backdrop to everything else, but is not necessary factor long term. Happy long term, yes, but not just long term. Here is a partial list in no particular order. No doubt, I will think of others later, but for now:
1. Health. For 60 years, the two of you have to live into your 80′s minimum. You must look after each other.
2. Trust. Trust your better half to make good decisions, even when you are not watching, and support her/him when they don’t turn out as well as expected.
3. Respect. He/she is the greatest and we don’t care who knows it.
4. Privacy. Everyone needs some space.
5. Teamwork and partnership in the family years. In our day the norm was for the male to provide and the female to operate the home, make important financial decisions in doing so, raise the kids and very importantly, realize she has a role in keeping the cash flowing by making the home an oasis for the bread winner to be super sharp in the workplace. He doesn’t need big problems both at work and at home. By far the female role is most difficult, and your grandmother did a superb job. Equally important is for the male to give the homemaker a break now and then. I was not very good at this. This model is way out of date, and us old folks dont have a clue as to how the two provider arrangement works.
6. Humor. Laughter can come to the rescue of almost any situation.